


finally it's our time now

by imstephtacular



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bruises, Closeted Character, Dom Liam, Dom Zayn, Dom/sub, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Bashing, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Rough Sex, Smut, Sub Liam, Sub Zayn, Zilo - Freeform, lilo- platonic, playboy!liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:08:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1752314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imstephtacular/pseuds/imstephtacular
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam Payne. A household name. A sex icon. A multibillionaire. A ladies man. Or maybe he’s not everything everyone thinks he is. </p><p>Or the one where Liam’s a closeted playboy who secretly likes being dominated by Zayn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	finally it's our time now

**Author's Note:**

> So I was laying in bed the other night and thought "wouldn't it be great to write a fic where Liam is a closeted macho ladies man playboy but totally loves being dom-ed by zayn in secret?" So I literally wrote the thing
> 
>  
> 
> And then as I wrote, feelings and emotions got involved and this evolved into something COMPLETELY different than I had intended-- isn't that how it always goes? So this become much more of a plot-driven feels fest with smut interwoven so here it is!
> 
> Title from Plain White T's song "Our Time Now"

“Do you ever knock?” Liam shouts, tossing a pillow towards the half-open door, missing Louis’ face by a mile. 

“‘Course not. Why would I knock? Then I could never walk in on this and hold it over your head forever and ever and ever…” Louis sings, ducking inside the room. “It’s fine girls, nothing I haven’t seen before,” Louis chirps at the two lumps of bodies trying not to move underneath the covers. One of the girls giggles and Liam sighs contentedly.

“S’alright ladies, Louis’ right, nothing to be shy about.” Two heads appear on the pillows surrounding Liam, one blond and one brunette, both giggling and blushing. Liam curls them into the crooks of his shoulders, one on each side, and strokes their hair. “Was there a reason for the rude interruption, sir?” Liam asks, smirking. 

“Is there ever?” Louis quips, traipsing through the room, picking up stray dirty clothes and empty bottles. “It’s not like I’m your personal assistant or anything,” Louis sniffs, “here to relay important information about your life or obstruct the forming of your reputation.”

Liam simply laughs and kisses the girls on their cheeks. “Ah, but of course. Proceed.”

Louis rolls his eyes and tosses open the curtains, filling the room with blinding sunshine. The girls make hissing noises and Liam laughs again. “Just an interview this afternoon which, unlike your typical interviews, is a crucial one and we need to talk through what you’re going to say so you don’t make an arse out of yourself.” Louis narrows his eyes and Liam just shrugs. Louis sighs loudly. 

“Ladies, will you give us a moment?” Liam asks soothingly. He kisses their cheeks again, slapping their asses as they climb out of the bed on opposite sides, covering themselves with various items of clothing as they fumble, giggling, out the door. “Now, where were we?” Liam slumps back against the pillows, blanket draped over his bottom half, torso proudly displayed and reflecting sun from the window. 

Louis is about to roll his eyes, but realizes it’s a waste of energy and decides against it. “Right. This interview.” Louis sits down on the edge of the bed and spreads out a folder Liam hadn’t noticed he carried in. “I’ve been briefed about what kinds of questions to expect. Standard stuff, mostly, except…”

“Just give it to me, Lou,” Liam bites at his nail, bored. 

“They’re going to ask about your dating life.” 

Liam lets out a roar of a laugh and claps his hands. “And that’s news?”   
Louis really does roll his eyes now, growing impatient. “Yes, this time it is. I don’t mean they’re going to ask you about all the women you sleep with and your reputation as a playboy. Everyone already knows that, you wanker.” Liam swipes at him playfully and Louis waves him away. “They’re curious about if you’re ever going to settle down or, at least, date someone, emphasis on the one, any time soon.”

Liam screws his face into concentration. “That’s not part of the plan,” he replies stubbornly. “That’s not the deal. Not my deal.” Liam’s eyes turn cold and his lips form an intense pout. 

“Liam,” Louis warns. “This whole act was cute, sort of, when you first started out, but the novelty has worn off. You’re 29 now, the owner of six major companies, and an international celebrity. You’re not a little boy anymore and this childish image is growing tired.” Louis sighs heavily, gathering his papers and turning towards the window. He stands with his back to Liam for a long moment and sighs again. “I think it’s time.”

Liam slams his fists onto the bed, a muffled thump, but Louis doesn’t flinch. He’s been expecting this. “No. You don’t get to decide that. It’s my life and I’ll say it’s time…on my own time,” Liam huffs and goes quiet, but Louis can hear his heavy, angry breathing. 

They remain that way for some time before Louis mutters, “I’ll show myself out.” He heads for the door and pauses briefly, without turning to face Liam, and says, “Just think about it. Please.”

Liam is left alone with his thoughts, all the thoughts he’s spent years avoiding, and suddenly the sun is too hot, the daylight too bright, and he pulls the covers up over his head and falls fitfully back to sleep. 

 

***

 

“Z, I need to see you,” Liam whispers into his phone hours later. 

“Where and when, babe,” Zayn croons, his voice rasping off a freshly smoked cigarette.

“Here. Now. I’ll leave the door to the garage open.”

 

***

 

“Oh, God yes,” Liam moans as Zayn fucks him into his mattress, hands gripped loosely around Liam’s neck, knee in the middle of Liam’s back. “I love it when you give me what I need.”

“Let’s not forget who’s running things here, Li,” Zayn growls into his ear, fingers tightening around Liam’s throat. “I’m coming, lay still, babe. Please.” Liam does as he’s told, biting at the sheets underneath him, trying desperately not to tighten as Zayn comes hard inside him. Zayn sighs in satisfaction and rolls off Liam, propping himself up on his elbow and looking longingly into Liam’s softened brown eyes. “I can tell you needed that,” he whispers, planting a small kiss on Liam’s nose. “You don’t have to tell me why, but I have a feeling you want to.” Zayn presses his fingers to his lips, kisses them lightly, and trails them along Liam’s naked back. 

Liam takes a moment to regain his normal breath and melts into Zayn’s touch. “Louis says it’s time.”

Zayn doesn’t need to ask anything more, simply nods and continues trailing his hands along Liam’s body, tracing the goosebumps and shivers cropping up along Liam’s waist. “I don’t know what to do,” his tone softens. “Z, what do I do?” Liam sounds small, almost scared, nothing like his normal self— the self everyone else but Zayn sees. 

“You know I’m only the boss in the bedroom, babe,” Zayn chuckles softly. Liam groans. “Okay, okay, serious now. It’s up to you Li. You know I’ll be here no matter what. I’m content to hide in the shadows however long you need me to.” Zayn’s eyes cloud slightly and Liam almost doesn’t notice. Almost. 

“Not yet. I’m not ready yet,” Liam whispers. 

“Okay. Then we won’t tell them yet,” Zayn says, ending the conversation and sealing it with a nip at Liam’s shoulder and a tiny smirk.  

 

***

 

“So Liam, everyone is dying to know,” the camera pans to the audience where people are clapping and whooping and beaming wildly, “any plans to give up the playboy lifestyle, settle down? Is there a special lady?” The interviewer is pretty, relatively fit, with green eyes and fiery red hair, and a full set of lips and Liam thinks he could definitely fuck her. Maybe. 

Liam leans back in his chair, completely at ease, and smiles smugly. “Now why would I want to give all this up, Chenise?” Liam laughs and fans his hands out, gesturing to show that he has the world at his fingertips. “I mean, I guess it gets tiring, sometimes, the parties and the people,” he winks at the camera, the audience laughs, “but I love what I do and who I do,” he winks again and Chenise flushes, “and I’m simply not ready for anything more at this point.” Liam’s beaming and everyone’s cheering and if he keeps smiling and cracking jokes and acting like a likable douchebag, he can keep those thoughts that try to float up at bay. 

“Well, we’re happy to see that you’re happy, Liam,” Chenise grins, smoothing her skirt and flicking through her notes for a followup question. She pauses, her mouth in a round o, and hesitantly asks. “Do I dare ask about that bruise that’s peeking out of your collar?” The audience goes silent and for a moment, Liam does, too. After a beat too long, Liam just blushes and reaches up to slap his hand over it, dramatically, ignoring the sting. “I think we can just leave that up to the imagination,” Chenise quips and moves on to wrap up the interview with standard, boring questions about the company and where Liam’s planning to vacation this year. 

 

***

 

Already on my way, I saw xx -Z

 

***

 

“You really need me, don’t you,” Zayn says around Liam’s dick, eyes glinting. 

“Yes. Yes, I need you,” Liam pants, squirming against the back of his bedroom door. 

“Good, I like being needed. And I like when you’re needy,” Zayn continues, licking Liam up and down as he speaks.

“Stop talking and suck me, Zayn!” Liam demands.

“Ah ah ah, did we forget how this goes?” Zayn raises his eyebrows and pauses mid-lick. He stares up at Liam, silently begging him to open his eyes and gaze downward. Liam groans and flutters his eyes open, meeting Zayn’s. 

“Okay,” Liam breathes. “I know, I remember. And I love it, but Z, give me something. I need it. I need you.”

“And what I need is for you to bat those gorgeous eyelashes and bite that incredibly pink bottom lip and let me swallow you down without a peep.” And Liam does as he’s told, like he always does for Zayn. 

 

***

 

Louis finds Liam in the sauna later that evening. As usual, he doesn’t bother knocking. “Yeah, save it, I never knock, blah blah, nothing I haven’t seen before,” Louis rambles, opening the door and letting some of the steam escape. He doesn’t sit down, just stares at Liam, stark naked, but somewhat concealed by the thick steam between them.

“Can’t sleep in peace, can’t steam in peace…what’s a man to do?” Liam deadpans. 

“A man is supposed to keep his real private life private and not raise suspicions on national television,” Louis chides. “A man is supposed to own up to his true self and not hide behind a shitty image and a man is supposed to treat the one he supposedly loves with respect and decency. Since you asked.”

“Rhetorical,” Liam murmurs, glaring. 

“Scuse me for caring,” Louis snaps. “Sorry,” he bows his head. “Anyways. You and Zayn have got to be more careful, Li. You know I love you and I love Z and I’m in full support of whatever it is you two have, but unless you’re fully prepared to explain it, which you clearly are not, I suggest you try a little harder to keep it under wraps.”

Liam scrubs his hands over his face and stands up, wrapping a towel around his waist, and leads Louis out of the steam room and through the house. Louis follows, right on Liam’s heels, and silently urges Liam to say something. They walk to Liam’s bedroom in silence and when Liam disappears into his closet to get dressed, Louis perches on the bed. “I know you’re not ready, Liam,” he says, face solemn. “And maybe the world isn’t ready yet either. But don’t you think you’re being unfair to Zayn?”

Liam emerges from the closet in a pair of jeans, halfway into a white t-shirt. Louis leaps up to assist him and they’re finally face to face. “Yes, Lou, I do,” Liam whispers, leaning his forehead down to meet Louis’. “I just…can’t yet. Not yet. I’ll do it on my time, please, just…let me figure it all out,” Liam begs, starting to quiver. 

“Okay,” Louis agrees. “You let me know when you’re ready. I’ll take care of everything else.” Louis shuts the door quietly behind him and leaves Liam alone with his thoughts. Again. 

 

***

 

A couple of weeks pass after the interview and the press seems to have tired of Liam’s personal life and he’s happy about it. Except it means he hasn’t seen much of Zayn. It means he hasn’t needed Zayn. More girls trickle in and out of the house, hair and eye colors blending together, nameless and faceless and not mattering at all. Liam is photographed out to dinner with various models, out dancing with up-and-coming actresses, out partying with pretty nobodies and their pretty friends. 

He puts on a smile for the cameras and he’s good at it. Really good. The smugness, the laughs, the teasing, the attitude, the image. But he isn’t immune to the glances that Louis casts his way every so often, pleading drop the act, Liam, do something, please. 

He takes out Jeni one night— or is it Jessi? Juli?— and lets her blow him in the bathroom of the club. He lets her call him Daddy and leave scratches on his thighs. And when she tries to take it further, something in Liam snaps. “That’s…that’s alright, that’s just fine, hun,” he mumbles, zipping up his pants, and gently guides her shoulders away from him. “I’ll call you a cab.” She nods and reaches for his hand and he takes it, loosely, and leads her to the door. 

Once her taxi drives away, Liam feels a mix of something sour in his stomach. He calls Zayn.

 

***

 

“Mind explaining this, huh?” Louis barges into Liam’s room the next morning, shoving his tablet into Liam’s sleeping face, and zooming in on the tabloid screaming Payne-ful Rejections! “Who were you with last night? What happened? And how do you suggest we fix this?” Louis rolls on. 

“Dunno,” Liam shrugs, eyes still closed, mumbling, “isn’t fixing stuff your job?” Louis slaps Liam’s bicep, shocking Liam fully awake. 

“Oi, FUCK, Lou!”

“That’s better. I need you awake and alert and angry. No wait, I’m the one that’s angry.”

“Alright, ‘right, I’m up now, you twit. What do you want?” 

“An explanation. For this,” Louis grunts, pushing the screen in front of Liam again. “Now, I know what a real jackass you can be, and I know you put up a front for the press, but nobody has ever said nasty things about you in the media and s’far as I know, nobody’s ever had reason to so you need to start talking to me so we can figure out what you’re going to say to everyone else.” Louis is just shy of fuming and Liam is aggravated. 

“I didn’t think it was a big deal,” Liam replies dismissively. “I just stopped her after she blew me and got her a cab instead of taking her home. No big thing.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. Everything you do is a big thing. Especially things you do and don’t do in public. Now everyone thinks you’re an actual douche instead of just a funny ha ha sort of douchey dude who’s really a fun guy and loves women and fun and fun and sex and money and FUNI” Louis shouts, pounding his fist on the bed. 

Liam groans and buries his head in his hands. “Well, what can I do to fix it?”

“You can first call that poor girl and apologize.”

“But I’m not sorry,” Liam begins.

“Well then you lie, which I know you’re an expert at so don’t try to argue.” Louis holds up a finger to silence Liam’s response. “Apologize to her and we can take it from there. Maybe she’ll retract her statement about you rejecting her, say it’s all a big misunderstanding, and that’s the best we can hope for. Otherwise, you better prepare to face the shitstorm of the media that is ready to jump down your throat on this, Li.” Louis’ tone softens a bit and he rests a hand on Liam’s knee. “I’m on your side. Always. But I also have a job to do, a job you hired me to do, and a job I’m pretty fucking good at, thank you. But you need to know what you’re up against and I need you to be completely honest with me from now on, okay?”

Liam looks at where Louis is touching his knee and gnaws at his lower lip. He dares to meet Louis’ eyes, the blue a shade of the sky in the evening, intense but soft enough to remind Liam that Louis is rooting for him. “Yeah, alright.”

 

***

 

For the next three days, Liam turns off his phone. He doesn’t check his emails, his texts, his missed calls. He spends every moment with Louis mapping out how he’s going to handle the media backlash after Juli— he read in the article— tarnished his reputation. It’s not as bad as Louis was expecting, but it’s certainly not easy to field. The magazines are calling him everything from disrespectful to dishonest to just plain douchey. The names Liam can take. It’s the rumors that go along with the adjectives that gut him. Pompous. Misogynistic. GAY. 

The truth is what hurts him the most. And not because he’s not ready to admit it. It hurts because they think slapping that label on him is an insult. That what he and Zayn have, whatever it is, isn’t worth anyone’s attention. That what he and Zayn have is dirty and offensive. And now he can’t imagine bringing his truth into a world where it will hurt the one he loves— loves— and that’s going to hurt them both even more. 

 

***

 

When Liam finally reboots his phone, he’s got 17 missed calls, 12 voicemails— mostly from his mum— over 100 emails, and 32 texts. He ignores everything but the texts, all of them from Zayn.

Saw the headlines. Need to talk?

I’ll be right over, just say the word…

Still need me? Waiting for you to tell me what you need, babe

Guess you’re okay, hope you’re ok. Talk soon?

Lou says you’re fine, but I’m not convinced. Txt me??

Stopping by, can’t go another minute not knowing if you’re okay xx

Liam checks the time on the most recent message— 47 minutes ago— and is startled by a knock on his door. He knows who it is because Louis never knocks and nobody ever bothers him in his room. 

“Li?”

“Hey, yeah, I’m here. Come…come on in.”

Zayn pushes the door open and goes right to the bed where Liam is laying. He kneels beside it, draping his arms around Liam’s upper body and collapsing into him. Liam sighs deeply and lets Zayn touch him and hold him and kicks himself for not realizing it’s what he needed sooner. “I’m glad you’re here,” Liam murmurs.

“Me too, babe,” Zayn whispers, kissing Liam’s temple and resting his lips there on his forehead. “I’ve been following what’s happening and I’ve talked a bit with Louis, but would you mind telling me what’s really going on, Li?” 

Liam lays there, just breathing, and the moments tick by. Finally he says, “It’s all your goddamn fault,” but there’s no power in it, no anger, not even much volume or weight. He says it like a vow, not an accusation, and Zayn can’t help but let out a small laugh. 

“Yeah, I gathered that when you wouldn’t answer my calls or texts or emails…that and your dopey ass got a little bird all huffed and twisted and that has never been part of the plan.” Zayn’s smiling now and Liam can feel it even if he can’t see it. 

“Well screw the plan now, I’ve gone and royally jacked that up for all of us and now they’re bashing me as a gay, woman-hating whore!” 

“Well, they’ve got some of their facts straight,” Zayn quips, rubbing Liam’s back in deep, slow circles. “Would it really be that bad for them to know that they’re right?”

“Yes, Zayn! Yes, it would be that bad! That’s how this thing works. I do things on my terms, not theirs,” Liam croaks. “I can handle whatever they’re going to say about me and do to me, but I can’t…” Liam cranes his neck to meet Zayn’s gaze. “I can’t protect you.” 

Zayn’s smiles, all warmth and flushing cheeks, and runs a finger underneath Liam’s chin. “I’ll be okay, babe. I’ll be fine.”

“Not this time, Z. I’m scared,” Liam admits, barely even a whisper. Zayn doesn’t respond, just clings tighter to Liam and kisses his shoulders. They stay that way until Liam drifts off to sleep and Zayn gently releases him and slips out the door.

 

***

 

“Has he come round yet?” Louis stops Zayn in the hall on his way out. 

“Not yet. I think he’s…close. But we can’t push him much more. He’s going to break any day now. He’s got to come to it on his own terms, in Liam’s way, on Liam’s time,” Zayn explains.

“I was expecting that. I was hoping against it, but I was expecting it,” Louis replies, clapping Zayn on the shoulder. “Thanks, mate. You mean the world. To me and, of course, to him, even if he’s too preoccupied and self-centered and stupid to realize it.”

“I know,” Zayn murmurs, walking away. “I know.” 

 

***

 

“Wakey wakey!” Louis coos from the doorway. “Big day, big day!” Liam groans and flops over on his other side. 

“This is your chance, just the way you want it. On your terms, on your time, in your way, as always.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I’m coming…” Liam mumbles, rolling towards the edge of the bed and planting his feet on the floor. “What am I wearing?”

“I’ve picked out a couple of options. Your choice.” Louis motions to an array of clothing arranged neatly on the sofa near the window. “Although, if I may suggest, I would go with the simple black and white and you can wear some of your fancy kicks, just to keep things interesting, remind everyone who you are.”

Liam nods and heads towards the shower. He turns the water on extra hot and lets the room fill with steam. He leans against the sink, rubbing a circle in the foggy mirror, and stares at his reflection. He examines the planes of his shoulders, the ripples across his chest, the veins that carve shortcuts from one point on his body to the next. And he thinks about Zayn, the way he always traces Liam’s every inch like he’s memorized a treasure map. The way he knows exactly who and what and where and when to be when Liam needs it— needs him. 

 

***

 

He’s trying to remember how to act in front of the cameras and Louis notices. Liam’s outlining aimless patterns on the floor with the tips of his gold and black trainers he picked and Louis kicks at him with his boot, interrupting Liam’s trance. “Ready?”

“Guess so,” he lifts his head, forcing a massive grin. Louis shakes his head and retrieves a compact from his pocket, handing it to Liam. 

“Try that one again, mate. I know you can do this.” Liam attempts the smile again, barely recognizing himself, but manages something dangerously close to his signature Liam Payne smug-but-loveable smirk. “Better. They’ll never know,” Louis assures him, placing a hand on Liam’s shoulder and squeezing. The touch is easy and light, but Liam knows it carries the weight of his entire world.

Liam falls into a familiar routine as soon as he steps into the spotlight. The flashes don’t blind him, the questions don’t shake him. But he’s numb. He floats through the beginning of the press conference, answering the usual things, giving the usual answers. About midway through, the questions start to take a more serious turn. He’s practiced and prepared for this moment, but he feels anything but ready.

“Liam, how have you been handling the rumors circulating?” one voice asks.

“Which rumors do you mean?” Liam replies smoothly, his exterior never cracking.

“Fag!” someone shouts from another corner of the room and Liam is prepared.

“Oh, those rumors,” he grins, exposing his perfectly straight and sparkling white teeth. “I actually am welcoming those rumors.” The room rumbles with chatter, more flashes pop.

“You mean…” someone starts.

“These rumors are giving me a chance to introduce myself, as well as all of Payne & Co., as an ally to the LGBT community.” Light and sound erupt around him and Liam bows his head, thanking everyone and bringing the conference to a close. Voices are still shouting as he ducks around a corner and is ushered out of sight, followed closely by Louis and a small entourage. 

“I think that went well,” Louis remarks, pleasantly surprised. “We still have to arm ourselves for the followup, regardless of what form it takes, but I’d say job well done, Li.” He pats Liam’s shoulder as they climb into the car and head for home. Liam simply exhales into the cushy leather and taps out a text message.

Feel like celebrating?

 

***

 

“Feeling better now?” Zayn asks, straddling Liam across the backseat of Liam’s Corvette convertible. 

“In so many ways,” Liam replies dreamily. 

“I bet I can make it even better,” Zayn rasps, pinning Liam’s body down with his knees and squeezing, crushing Liam’s hips and earning a yelp. “Don’t worry, babe, I’ll only leave bruises where nobody can see.”

Liam moans in pleasure and submits himself to Zayn’s touch. 

Zayn presses his fingertips gently at first, the pressure slowly building, into Liam’s sides, working his hands up towards Liam’s stomach and chest. Liam’s writhing underneath Zayn’s small frame, but his eyes are closed and Zayn can see his pupils fluttering beneath the lids and continues to press, harder and deeper. Liam cries out and bucks his hips up into Zayn. “You want it, I know,” Zayn croons, leaning into Liam’s ear and biting down. Liam whimpers and cranes his neck to nip at Zayn’s exposed neck. 

Zayn moves his grip to Liam’s shoulders, leaving indentations in the masterpiece of muscles on Liam’s skin. Liam’s lips move to speak, but Zayn silences them with a harsh kiss. Liam bucks his hips again, begging for Zayn to do something more. Zayn continues fiercely kissing Liam’s lips, neck, and shoulders before moving downward, his tongue lazy, but rough, lapping at Liam’s already leaking dick. Liam sucks in a sharp breath and thrusts up into Zayn’s mouth. “That’s it, good. Fuck my mouth,” Zayn demands, voice like gravel. And Liam does as he’s told. 

After he’s come, hot and slick down Zayn’s throat, and Zayn’s graciously sucked Liam off in the moments that follow, Liam collapses back on the seat and pulls Zayn down, their chests fitting together like puzzle pieces. “I’m proud of you, babe,” Zayn says softly, pushing himself up so they are eye level. Liam catches his gaze and senses he wants to say more, but Zayn stays quiet, content to draw idle shapes across Liam’s chest. 

“Thanks. I…I know it’s not what you wanted,” Liam chokes out. Zayn parts his lips to speak, but Liam continues, “I’m not as stupid as everyone thinks. I know what you want, Z. I just can’t give it to you. Not yet. But this is a start, yeah?” Liam forces himself to hold Zayn’s gaze for a second before averting his eyes elsewhere. 

Zayn simply nods, a whisper of a smile playing on his lips, and strokes the short hairs on Liam’s head. 

 

***

 

Louis is right, as always. The response to Liam’s announcement is explosive. They spend the next day fielding followup questions What does this mean for the company? and What prompted this? and Any plans to start dating again?

The first two questions are standard— “This changes nothing about the company, except maybe makes us more marketable and versatile” and “Liam has been wanting to make this announcement for a while now and the timing finally became right” and, Liam laughs genuinely at this one, thankful he doesn’t have to pretend to date models and sleep with girls anymore, “No, no plans for that. He’s very focused on expanding the company even more with this new revelation and is immersing himself completely on a professional level.”

Luckily the conversations surrounding his romantic life are vague and overpowered by the upswing in conversations about his work and Liam is grateful he doesn’t have to think about how he would respond to prying questions about who he’s seeing now and how serious it is, doesn’t have to think about new, creative ways to hide Zayn or more lies to divert the subject again and again. 

 

***

 

Louis flops down on the living room couch, directly on top of Liam’s legs, and heaves a sigh. “We survived another week in celebrity hell! Cheers to us!” He pulls two beers out of the six-pack in his other hand and offers one to Liam. Liam laughs, relief filling his belly, and takes the drink, pops the top, and clinks glasses with Louis. “Really wasn’t sure how we were going to make it through this one, mate,” Louis admits, sipping. “Bloody brilliant idea though, the platform. Now people should leave you alone for a bit.”

“It wasn’t a platform,” Liam snarls, suddenly defensive. “It was the truth. I am an ally of the LGBT community and that means my company is, too, Lou.”

Louis pulls back, mockingly stung, and hisses. “Touchy, touchy! You know I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m supposed to say things like that. I’m your PR rep, too, remember?” Louis nudges Liam’s shoulder and Liam’s face softens again.

“Yeah, I know, just…can you not be my assistant/PR rep/life saver for a mo’ and just be Louis, my friend?” Liam’s eyes melt into warm, rich puddles and Louis rolls his eyes. 

“Oi, you big softie, c’mere. ‘Course,” Louis sets his beer down and tackles Liam into a massive attack of a hug, smothering him with his lanky frame. Liam paws at him playfully, kicking and flailing, sighing happily into Louis’ body and finally curling his arms firmly around him and rocking back in forth in a tangled, tight hug. After a moment, Liam releases his hulking grip and Louis wriggles free, giggling, and curling his feet underneath him on his side of the couch. “So since we’re talking strictly as friends,” Louis arches his eyebrows and scans the room conspicuously, “can we talk about the Zayn situation?” Louis says it like a top secret operation, coded for safety. Liam sighs loudly and absently touches along his hip. “And I don’t mean talk about it like we usually do, business-like and whatnot. Can we honestly discuss what’s going on here?”

“What’s to explain?”

“Well, obviously I know you’re an item, but I guess I’m still trying to figure out to what extent,” Louis tries gently.

“That makes two of us,” Liam mumbles. Louis’ eyes widen and he opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. “Yeah, save it, I know.” Liam groans and stands up, pacing around the room in broad, labored figure eights. “He’s…everything I need. Always. And whenever. Whatever, whoever, wherever. And it works for us, it does.” Louis raises his eyebrows in challenge, but Liam ignores him. “It’s been working so well for so long and I can’t think about it changing.” 

“Do you want it to change?” Louis asks quietly. Liam stills, silent, and Louis has his answer. “I get it if you don’t want my advice, especially since you take orders and advice from me every moment of your life, but…” 

Liam lifts his hand to pause Louis’ stream of words and reclaims his spot next to him on the couch. “At this point, Lou, I could use all the help I can get.” Liam lays his head in Louis’ lap and Louis struggles to bite back a smile on his lips. 

 

***

 

Zayn is experimenting with a new set of calligraphy pens, sketching and looping script across quickly-filling pages, when he hears the knock at the door. He abandons his tools and opens the door, not bothering to ask or check who it is. Zayn leans forward, automatically, and kisses Liam’s neck, biting at his collarbones, fingers already working the buttons on Liam’s shirt. “Mmm, Z,” Liam starts, struggling against Zayn’s lips. “I…this is…ugh…” Liam sighs into Zayn’s touch and picks Zayn up, forcing Zayn’s legs up and around his waist, carrying him to the bedroom. 

He lays Zayn down on the bed and Zayn finally opens his eyes. “This isn’t our usual deal, babe,” Zayn muses lightly. 

“Yeah, I know. And…also not why I came here, but fuck it,” Liam grins, pushing Zayn’s shoulders down onto the bed and climbing on top of him. Liam whips Zayn’s shirt off, followed shortly by his jeans and briefs. Zayn reaches up to unzip Liam’s pants, but Liam pushes him off. “Let me have this time, yeah?” Liam begs. Zayn gazes up at him through thick, batting lashes and Liam smirks devilishly before slipping his mouth around the entire length of Zayn’s cock. 

“Jesus, Li,” Zayn moans, thrusting up into Liam’s mouth. Liam grasps for Zayn’s stomach, digging his fingers and clawing marks into the shallow valleys of Zayn’s abs. Liam’s anxious and alternating between swirling his tongue and bobbing his mouth around Zayn’s dick. He is fast and sloppy, but determined and intense and Zayn is coming before he can warn Liam, but Liam’s ready and sucking hard one last time, swallowing all of Zayn down, pulling off, and licking his lips. 

Completely spent, Zayn lays still on the bed, regaining his breath. Before he can offer to return the favor, Liam’s already freeing his pulsing cock and jacking himself off, quick and easy. “I’m coming on your chest,” he tells Zayn and he does just as Zayn sits up, his chest catching Liam’s load. Shuddering to a finish, Liam stands before Zayn in front of the bed, cock limp in his hand. Zayn hands Liam a pillow, stripping the case, and Liam presses it against Zayn’s stomach, slowly and gingerly cleaning up his mess. Zayn’s smiling softly and stupidly and Liam matches his grin, tossing the dirty case to the side, climbing onto the bed beside him. Liam lays on his side, placing his hand on Zayn’s side, turning him to face him. Zayn’s eyes seem to be asking why and Liam is finally ready to talk.

“Like I said earlier, this wasn’t why I came,” Liam admits, blushing up to his crinkling eyes. “But I think it helped me prove my point.” Zayn twists his mouth into a confused frown, but Liam hurries to explain. “I just needed you to know,” Liam looks right into Zayn’s eyes, watching the color melt from gold into bronze, “that I can take care of you. I can take care of…things. I can take charge, I can make decisions. I can handle…everything.” Zayn’s looking at him so fondly Liam can barely hold his gaze. “But that doesn’t mean I need you any less,” Liam adds quietly, pulling Zayn to him, wrapping his sturdy arms around Zayn’s tiny shape. “I need you, Z. We both know that. I need you to be everything and anything and everywhere and anywhere all at once. And you are. You always are. And I just needed to tell you that I need you, but it’s okay for you to let me take care of you, to need me, too.”

Zayn is quiet for a moment before letting out a long, slow breath. Liam can feel every inch of Zayn’s chest empty, can hear every bit of air release from his insides. “I love you,” Zayn breathes, like it’s the only sentence he was ever meant to speak. 

“I…” 

“It’s okay, Li,” Zayn smiles warmly, pulling finally out of Liam’s grip and resting his hand on Liam’s hip, caressing a small purple bruise from an earlier time. “You don’t have to be ready. But I’m glad you said everything you just said. I’m glad you were ready for all of that even if you’re not ready for this.”

“I do, you know,” Liam murmurs, “I’m just not ready to say it yet. But I’m getting there.” He manages a small, genuine smile, and Zayn touches their foreheads together, pressing their lips to barely touch, and whispering nothings against them. 

“One day at a time, babe,” Zayn says like a secret, like a promise. 

 

***

 

Liam’s out on his balcony the next morning, drinking strong coffee and squinting into the sun. The paparazzi have backed off lately, but there are still a few sets of prying eyes and a couple of cameras snapping candids from the sidewalk below. Liam ignores them and stares out across the city, realizing how much he has taken his breathtaking view for granted. “Don’t say I told you so,” he mumbles, hearing Louis’ footsteps shuffle up behind him. 

“I would never,” Louis mocks offense, slinging his arm around Liam’s shoulder, pretending he doesn’t have to rise up on his toes to do so. 

“Because you did. Tell me so,” Liam deadpans. “But I’m glad you did,” Liam finally turns to face Louis and he’s smiling. Liam’s smiling his real, boyish smile, the one he usually reserves for Christmas and winning football matches and…Zayn. 

“Good, glad that’s said and done, I was tiring of all the brooding,” Louis chirps, rolling his eyes. Liam grips him in a headlock and Louis fights, unsuccessfully, to break free. “Alright, alright, I give!” Liam lets him go, rumpling his hair, and they retreat into Liam’s bedroom together. Fussing to fix his hair, Louis sits down on the sofa and flips through some papers. “Unfortunately, we are back to business as usual. Although you’d never know you run a multimillion-dollar, international company these days since I haven’t seen you work a minute in weeks…” Liam shoves at Louis, but laughs along. “Anyways, time for me to do my real job again. I’ve booked you for an interview tomorrow morning, something about expanding in Asia, strictly business, and you’re scheduled for a visit to a school downtown afterwards. They’ve requested to give a chat to the students about being a successful entrepreneur and icon in the community”

Liam snorts, “So they’ve chosen me? Even with my reputation?”

“Well, lately, all things considered, you’re actually quite the role model in the press. I think people are willing to look beyond your active personal past and highlight your philanthropy, business savvy, and media personality. I say this is a win!” Louis is beaming and Liam can’t help by try to smile, too.

“Alright, coach me through it later? I actually want to get some work done today.”

“Imagine that,” Louis sneers. “I’ll leave you to your duties, I’ll pop back in later so we can prep for tomorrow. And Li?”

“Yeah?”

“This is good. This Liam. He’s good,” Louis smiles tenderly before disappearing into the hall. Liam smiles to himself, rosy cheeks and full, warm lips. 

 

***

 

Free later today? -L

What time? -Z

Round 2:00? Gotta speak, want you there -L

I’ll be there xx -Z

 

***

 

“Nervous?” Louis asks, eyeing Liam’s bouncing knee as they wait backstage at Rosendale Preparatory Academy. 

“Bit,” Liam admits, pressing a palm to his knee, failing to still the shake.

“Just like we practiced. And I know Z’s here. I saw him.” Liam grins, relaxing slightly. He stands up and pokes his head from behind the curtain just enough to spot Zayn, sitting off to the side a few rows from the back, looking out of place yet completely calm. 

“Okay,” Liam breathes, disappearing back behind the stage. “Ready.” Louis squeezes Liam’s fingertips and pulses one, two, three times. 

“Good afternoon, students, staff, and guests. It is my great pleasure to introduce a local celebrity, a media icon, and an inspiring businessman. He needs no further introduction. Please help me welcome Mr. Liam Payne!”

The room erupts into applause and a few whoops rise from the crowd of teenagers. Liam struts on stage, the picture of confidence and calm, and takes his place at the podium. “Thank you, thank you, I’m happy and grateful to be here with you all today,” he begins. He scans the crowd, despite the lights, and his eyes land on Zayn’s for just a second and he continues. “It was an honor to be asked by Headmaster Canyons to have a conversation with you today, which is exactly what I want to start. Conversations. Not lectures, not speeches, but conversations that we can all be a part of, a community coming together to discuss the issues that are important to you, to me, to all of us.” Louis is beaming offstage, Liam knows, and he carries on. “I would like to start by opening up today’s conversation to some of you.” The students look around at each other, murmuring and chattering, and Headmaster Canyons looks mildly concerned, but Louis pats his arm in reassurance. “I’ll start,” Liam goes on. “I’m not proud of everything I’ve done so far in my life. I’m sure I don’t need to fill you all in on the details of my personal life, which have been broadcast to the world for years.” Snickers, whispers, and catcalls punctuate the beat of silence. “But what I am proud of is what I’ve accomplished. Seeing the things I’ve created and helped others to create by just following a dream, a passion, an idea. Knowing that my work is important and that my company has reached people, touched lives.” Liam knows he’s starting to get sappy so he forges on. “I want to be able to continue doing my work, but I want to hear from you, the future generations of our community, what kinds of change you want to see. I’m hoping that together we can continue to make our world a better place.”

The audience applauds loudly and Liam steps away from the podium briefly. Zayn is smiling proudly at him and Louis is beside himself. Liam spends the next half an hour fielding questions and suggestions from students about everything from safer neighborhoods to healthier food choices in school to technological advances in the community. For the first time in what feels like months, Liam is enjoying his work and remembers what it felt like in the beginning, before the fame and the women and the parties and the lies. 

As the session winds down, Liam announces he will be taking one final question from the student body. A small boy in the second row, all the way on the end towards the wall, waves his hand and when Liam calls on him, all eyes turn to the boy. “Mr. Payne, sir,” he begins meekly.

“Liam is fine,” he chuckles. 

“Er, Liam. What can we do about the bullying targeting the LGBT community?” the boy asks. Liam freezes for a moment, not having prepared for this. He chances a glance at Louis who is shrugging frantically and then at Zayn who is keeping his face emotionless. It’s up to you, Liam thinks. This is your moment. 

“What’s your name?”

“Quentin, sir. I mean, Liam…sir,” he mumbles.

“Quentin, I am very glad you’ve brought that up. I’ll be honest, though, I wasn’t expecting it.” Liam swallows, clears his throat. “As many of you know, I recently announced that Payne & Co., as well as myself, is a supporter of the LGBT community. I think it’s an incredibly important piece of our world and want everyone to know that I am an ally, a friend, and an advocate.” The room is still, silent, listening. He goes on to talk about the importance of zero tolerance bullying policies, in regards to all students, and outlines ways the students can help support their peers. Just as he’s wrapping up, finally having fully addressed Quentin’s concern, Liam pauses and twists his lips into a halfway pout. 

“Thank you, Mr…Liam,” Quentin replies, seemingly satisfied. Headmaster Canyons begins making his way back out on stage as Liam opens his mouth to add something.

“You’re very welcome, Quentin. I want you to feel safe. I want you, and everyone, to feel loved and appreciated. I want you to feel joy and acceptance and everything a teenager should feel. And I hope that you would want those same things for me.” Liam tosses a quick look at Louis whose face is contorted and confused, his eyes screaming off script!!! Liam gives him a tiny smile and turns back to his rapt audience. “I want this school to be a safe space, for everyone.” Some cheers and claps answer. “And I want our community to be a safe space, for you and for everyone like you, everyone like me.” He pauses dramatically, before adding. “Quentin, and students and community of Rosendale Prep, I hope you can accept and welcome and make a safe space for me here, as I share with you my most precious secret.” 

The room goes motionless and Liam can only hear himself breathing and Louis wheezing. He looks out at Zayn and their eyes lock, only for a second, and Zayn gives him the briefest of nods. “I’m gay,” Liam announces loud and clear and waits for the room to erupt. 

Everything that follows is a blur.

 

***

 

Hours later and Liam is still in shock— blissful, hazy shock. There will be questions to answer, reporters to field, rumors to attend to, interviews to do, but Liam can only think about the weight that’s been lifted and the weight of Zayn’s hand in his as they lie in bed in the quiet chaos of Liam’s world. 

“Can we start a new tradition?” Liam asks at some point. Zayn squeezes their hands together in reply. “Let’s celebrate. But no sex.” Zayn’s eyes grow skeptical, challenging, but Liam continues. “Not forever,” he lets out a laugh. “Just not tonight. Not our usual deal. Just stay the night. Here. With me.”

“Yeah,” Zayn nods, molding his body to Liam’s and cradling his head in the valley of Liam’s shoulder. 

 

***

 

“Have you seen…”

“Not now, Lou,” Liam waves him off and he bursts into the room. Zayn chuckles, tucked into Liam’s side, half-concealed by the sheets. 

“I…oh,” Louis mutters, turning swiftly on his heel. “We can talk about this later then, carry on…” he sings over his shoulder as he leaves them in Liam’s room alone. 

Zayn reads Liam’s mind and whispers, “in time, in your time,” clasping Liam’s hand in his.

“In our time,” Liam corrects, pulling Zayn in closer, feeling a soft, steady beating in his chest.


End file.
